A good roommate is like a diamond in the rough; all I ever seem to come up with are muddled and worthless shards, maybe cubic zirconia if I'm lucky. Living with roommates has paired me with one psychopath after another. As a general rule, I don't ask much of anyone other than myself, and as such, don't consider myself too terrible to live with. I clean, buy groceries, and even cook sometimes. I take out the garbage, go to bed and wake up at something of a reasonable hour. I'm basically good at the general upkeep of my day-to-day life. There are some who have no concern for such things, either out of sheer laziness or a capacity for insanity, and these are the people I come across for roommates.
It's been my experience to find an affordable place in a desirable part of town, and I'll deal with whoever happens to be living there later. Mistake number one, but I figured that moving in with a relative stranger would make for even stricter boundaries, right? Wrong. I'm one of the most laid-back people you could ever meet, but I'm nobody's mother, and some things are just plain inexcusable. Take, for instance, personal boundaries. A good roommate will recognize yours, i.e., bedroom, toiletries, foodstuffs, and will also have their own effects for you to respect.
One girl, whom I had never set eyes on before moving into the same house, got the impression we had grown so close that she could borrow some underpants. I couldn't have agreed less, and found out far too late, walking past her piles of garbage to discuss some trivial matter, and happened upon the tarnished drawers, much to my chagrin.
Another gem that I only vaguely knew beforehand, maxed out her crazy quota right away asking to borrow my car to drive by her boyfriend's house, to stalk him. I gave her the keys, if only to put some distance between us. So it was really my own fault when she asked to do it a second and third time. I tried to let her down as gently as possible, so as not to incur my own semblance of her wrath.
Arguably, one of the most important issues with roommates is food. Since eating out all the time really adds up, I like to peruse the local grocery store and stock up whenever I can. I could tell my latest roomie was going to be a real doozy upon discovering the refrigerator left only with a bottle of wine, condiment packets, and an unopened box of Bisquick, well past its prime. Needless to say, I reserve the right to be quietly angered when my staples evaporate.
Maybe it's something about my personality that allows these people to open the floodgates and let loose whatever disorder they're currently suppressing from the outside world, but I'd like to think it's them. All I'm ever really looking for in a roommate is the most basic consideration. Case in point, if you have a huge dog then you should probably do your best to take care of it. I, for one, cannot abide any sort of fecal matter in my living space, but that's just me. I'll clean it up, because after all, stuff happens. Yet, I can't imagine how a person could ignore that stench or overlook an ominous puddle on the floor time and again.
Equally disturbing was the reaction I got when I took it upon myself to take the dog on walks, oftentimes to the park so she could make a buddy. A singularly sweet, albeit none too bright dog, I can't recall a time I have ever heard her bark. Which explains my surprise when the only thing this roommate had to say at our return one fine afternoon was, "Did she bark at anyone? She really doesn't do well around people or other dogs." This, coming from her owner, who obviously never walks her overtly athletic pet, was too much for my fragile psyche to absorb.
When you live with someone, there's a constant flow of give and take, and no habits, good or bad, will be easily concealed. Some people in this world you absolutely cannot relate to, no matter how hard you try, and you'll be reminded of this throughout your life. Achieve your victories wherever you can, even through such small means as hiding the toilet paper (essential for survival) in the trunk of your car so you can be sure that your hard-earned dollars are actually providing for you. As it is, I can be infinitely grateful to have a place to hang my hat in a neighborhood that I adore, no matter what the consequences, and perhaps someday I'll bask in the glory of living alone. M
