Email
Print
FeedOct 22, 201211:59 PM
Lost Mississippi: Mineral Wells and the Great Squirrel War — Wait, What?
In the olden days — and I'm talking, oh, 1950s here — to get to Maywood you drove out Lamar until it became Highway 78 (nowadays Old Highway 78), and you eventually reached your destination, with its blinding-white Florida sand beaches and its ice-cold water. But along the way, you passed through the little community of Mineral Wells, Mississippi, probably without even realizing it. That's how small it was.
I can vaguely remember a cluster of three or four tourist court cabins alongside the highway in the general vicinity of Mineral Wells, and sometime in the 1970s, I took the photo you see here. Rooms for five bucks? That's quite a bargain, by any standards. I never knew the name of the old motel, but if you look closely you can see holes in the metal sign that once held neon tubes, and they don't line up with the lettering on the sign, so I betcha it originally spelled out the name of the place — probably something clever and enticing like "Mineral Wells Motel."
On a more recent visit, I saw (as I already knew) that Maywood — "The Beach Within Reach" — was gone, as was this sign and any remains of the old motel.
But then I made another discovery — this one online. You see, I thought I'd check Wikipedia to see if anyone had contributed information about the history of Mineral Wells. I was mainly intrigued by the name itself. Were there mineral or "medicinal" wells around here at one point, and where were they?
Instead, I discovered that some merry prankster had used the Mineral Wells entry to discuss the Great Squirrel War, which included this information: "The great war of Squirrels, 18,000 reds for 8,000 greys. Some of the dead are still buried here today. Nuclear weapons were authorized by GSHQ (Grey Squirrel Head Quarters), however a red squirrel commando team managed to disable the nuclear weapons of mass squirrelnation."
Uh. What?
Apparently no one at Wikipedia — or anybody else in the world, for that matter — has ever checked the Mineral Wells entry to update (meaning: correct) it. Oh, it's just as well. The Great War of Squirrels is definitely more interesting than any dried-up old wells, that's for sure.
Go here and read it for yourself (while you still can): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mineral_Wells,_Mississippi
Ask Vance is the blog of Vance Lauderdale, the award-winning columnist of Memphis magazine and MBQ: Inside Memphis Business. Vance is the author of two books: Ask Vance: The Best Questions and Answers from Memphis Magazine's History and Trivia Expert (2003), as well as Ask Vance: More Questions and Answers from Memphis Magazine's History Expert (2011). He is also the recipient of quite a few nice awards, the creator of several eye-catching wall calendars, and the only person we know with a vintage shock-treatment machine in his den. 
uh...probably a dumb question but all of the signs I see here in town with holes are usually bullet holes, I can't zoom in too well on this pic but, well, it IS Mississippi..... (Maybe it was stray fire from the Great Squirrel War? After all those cute lil' critters probably had real recoil problems with the AK47s)
Some of the holes in signs are indeed caused by bullets, this being Memphis and all. But neatly drilled holes were used to carry the wires leading from the transformers inside the signs to the rows of neon on the outside. I know that some of the holes in the Fortner Furniture clock on Summer had to be intentional, because the hands and numerals on the clock face were neon. And what are the chances that dozens of people over the years would stand at the busy intersection of Summer and National and fire their pistols or rifles up at the furniture sign? Oh wait, what am I thinking? This IS Memphis and all ...
Yeah I was there for the Great Squirrel War. It was a different time. Same place though. I still can't look my 16 gauge in the barrel.
It all started over a debate at the squirrel's chapter of the Elks Club (don't get me started). Essentially there was a disagreement over the chapter's motto. "Whose Nuts" vs "Who's Nuts" I can't even remember which side advocated which side. Kinda like the Ayers case in Mississippi.
Anyway, next time you head south and feel like something fleeting and furry, just remember, bring your own nuts.
I remember an old motel there from the late 70's called The Mineral Wells Motel. They conveniently rented rooms by the hour.
I grew up in Mineral Wells from around '82 to '93. Sleepy little place back then. Lots of rednecks who wanted to be left alone. You know the type. Lotsa Ole Miss fans without a tooth in their head. Olive Branch annexed our area around '90. But prior to that, I recall that we got our utilities like this: Electricity was from Olive Branch, Gas via a giant propane tank that sat behind the house, and our Water was oddly enough through Mineral Wells proper. And down the street aways on Craft Road there indeed was a small, i assume community owned(?) facility that pumped water. And, yes, there are mineral wells, or, springs, all throughout the area. In fact, if you remember, Maywood Beach, and the surrounding lakes in the Maywood subdivision (Lake Shakokah) were all spring fed. Hence the ice cold water. Maywood Beach had a small building on the southeast corner of the lot that drew pure, near-freezing water from the ground and piped it to the pool. Or beach. Or mini-ocean. Whatever. We went to church in Memphis growing up. And one Sunday my dad woke up and said that he was sick of driving back into Memphis for church and that we needed to try one of the churches in the community. So we did. Right off Old 78, and I believe on Old Craft Road, there was a winding road that had 2, maybe 3 small churches on it. I think this area may actually have been the central location of historical Mineral Wells, Miss. I say that because the pastor of Mineral Wells United Methodist Church (a woman! scandal!!!) told us some of the history of the church and community. In that same area, there used to be resorts where Memphians would come to experience the mineral springs for health reasons or what-have-you dating all the way back to the Yellow Fever epidemics.
The resorts are history, of course, so I asked her what happened to the springs? She pointed out these small boxes, maybe 2ftx2t and maybe metal or wood painted black, that were on the property. I could see these boxes dotting the vicinity of these churches...maybe 10-12 boxes in all over an area the size of 3 football fields. A couple of the boxes were overgrown with shrubs and I recall one box being directly beside the churches driveway. We never went back to that church because having a female preacher was just kee-razy.
I remember the old abandoned hotel where you took that pic. If that was taken in the 70's, then that place sat abandoned and overgrown for decades. In college, I was in a band, and we actually rented a house in the Maywood subdivision. Fun times. Fished, played music, and shot guns all day and night. So here I was living in the same community I grew up in. And more than once, we'd be driving home after a late night gig in Memphis, and we'd pass the creepy-ass Mineral Wells Hotel and there'd be a half-naked woman out front hitchhiking. Not sure exactly what goes on there, how they've stayed in business all these years, or what the story is. But the Mineral Wells Hotel is still there, open, and in business. Everyone parks in the rear and virtually out of sight from the street, but on a weekend night, you'd see cars back there packed like sardines. Hard to believe that such a conservative community would let something like that go on. Oh.. that reminds me ..there was a house off that street .. I was maybe 10 yrs old.... that got raided. It was a "casino" operated by Danny Owens we were told. The officers came back the next day, stacked bales of hay all over the place, and set the place on fire. Watched the whole thing go down, riding around on my bike. Damndest thing I'd ever seen.